The Not So Secret Life of Gay People
by shuxyuki
Summary: This is the show where we take a video camera and spy on people when they don't know it!
1. Shuichi Shindou

**Title: **The Not-So-Secret Life of Gay People

**Author:** Shuxyuki

**Summary:** "This is the show where we take a video camera and spy in people when they don't know it!"

**Notes:** All of the dates in the character's journals are the actual dates of when I wrote it. This fanfic is written in FIRST PERSON! …So its not going to have the best of grammar or English skills… Please don't judge it on that stuff, judge it on the story.

**Episode One – Shuichi Shindou**

Hello and welcome to the first-ever episode of "The Not-So-Secret Life of Gay People"! This is the show where we take a video camera and spy on people when they don't know it! I'm your host, Kei-chan! This week, we will be invading the privacy of Shuichi Shindou. In the public's eye, Shuichi is just your average pink-haired, hyper, overly obsessive rock star. But who knows what he's like when no one's looking!

Here we see Shuichi searching for something in one of Eiri Yuki's dressers. "Where are they? Where did he hide them this time?"

Hmm… I wonder what our victim is looking for. Lets keep watching and find out.

"Yes! I found them!"

It looks like Shuichi has found a pair of Eiri's boxers. I wonder what he's going to do with them… From the looks of it, he's hugging them and rubbing them against his face. Oooh, this is getting really good, he's groping and biting them. Its very disturbing, yet extremely hilarious.

This should get interesting, it looks like Eiri's coming home early from work. I can't wait to see his reaction when he sees Shuichi playing with his boxers. Hah, poor Shuichi doesn't know that Eiri is rapidly approaching his bedroom.

"What the fuck are you doing!"

Eiri's mad… I don't blame him, I'd probably kill someone if they did that to my panties.

"Umm… Well… You see… Uhh… This. Isn't. What. It. Looks. Like?"

"Sure…"

Oh! Sorry viewers. We'll have to censor this part out. Its too violent for T.V and this show has a strict rule about violence and nudity.

…………………………………

Wow! That fight was amazing! Eiri's making Shuichi sleep outside on the balcony tonight. Oh hey, what's that? I think it's a diary! Lets go see what's in it.

_May 26, 2005_

_Oh no. Eiri's wicked mad at me! I can't believe he found me playing with his boxers. Well, I guess it's not that bad. If he found out that I wore them last week and while I had them on I censored… He'd KILL me. I just hope he forgives me soon._

Oh my God! I can't believe Shu-chan actually censored! Good thing Eiri didn't find out about that. If he had, Shuichi wouldn't be here right now and we'd have to find another victim – I mean person… - to film. Oh, it looks like he's pulling a picture from his diary. I wonder what it's of.

"Oh Jessie McCartney… Your sexiness makes me feel so relaxed… I'll show you that I'm better than any of those girls you banged."

Oh God… Not another Jessie McCartney fan… It seems as though he loves that gay, stupid, pretty boy, pop singer more than Eiri Yuki. …This makes awesome blackmail and T.V!

Uh oh. I think he spotted me!

"Hey! Who are you? And why are you filming me? GIVE ME THAT TAPE!"

…Shuichi's angry with me. I better start running. If I live through this, the next victim on this show is Sakano. …And remember, its only legal if you don't get caught!

See you next time!

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Please review! Thanks! 


	2. Sakano

**Title**: The Not-So-Secret Life Of Gay People

**Author**: shuxyuki

**Disclaimer**: Nope… I don't own Gravi… But I do own Kei. (She's MINE!)

**Chapter Two – Sakano**

Hello and welcome to the second episode of "The Not-So-Secret Life Of Gay People". I'm your host, Kei-chan. And surprisingly I survived that attack from Shuichi last week. Anyway, this time we'll be invading the privacy of Mr. Sakano! This might get interesting.

Ok. Here we see Sakano coming home from work like any normal day… Oh, what's this? He's getting undressed… As far as I can see from this tree… Sakano is not a he, but a SHE! I always knew there was something wrong with that guy/girl.

Umm… Ok. This… Doesn't… Look… Right… She's censored with a pen? And why is she calling it "Tohma"? Could this have anything to do with the famous member of Nittle Grasper, Tohma Seguchi?

-Four hours later-

Well it looks like she's finally done with that… For all you people at home, for the last four hours, I have been sitting in this tree witnessing Sakano do EXTREMELY disturbing things with that pen. …Remind me NEVER to borrow a pen or pencil from Sakano EVER again!

Anyhoo, lets get back to spying on Sakano. She's heading towards her room now.

Oh my God! You will never guess what I am seeing right now… Sakano's room is the ULTIMATE Tohma Seguchi worship shrine. Any of you Tohma fans would literally die for this room. It comes complete with wall scrolls, pictures, posters, plushies, and anything else you can imagine that has anything to do with Tohma Seguchi.

Sakano's hugging her Tohma plushie. "Oh Tohma… I love you so much! You are my sex God! I would die to be your wife. I don't understand how you can like that stupid, shit-for-brains Mika. Life is so unfair."

Hey! You'll never guess what she's doing now! If you guessed what I think you guessed, then you're right! And she'll probably be doing this for the next four hours! …So, I'm going to get out of here before I start puking my guts up.

This concludes our show, tune in next week to see Suguru Fujisaki's secret life! Remember, it's only legal if you don't get caught!

See you next time!

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Sorry that chapter was so short... 

Review of reviews: **cymyers**- Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! I hope you like the rest of the story as much as that chapter.


	3. Suguru Fujisaki

Title: The Not-So-Secret Life of Gay People  
Author: shuxyuki  
Comments: I'm sorry this chapter is so short… I'M SORRY! –Ritsu moment-

**Episode Three - Suguru Fujisaki**

Hello and welcome to yet another episode of, "The Not-So-Secret Life of Gay People". I'm your host, Kei-chan, and this week we'll be invading the privacy of Bad Luck's keyboardist, Suguru Fujisaki! Hopefully he won't be as disgusting as Sakano…

Right now, our victim is sneaking out of his apartment wearing a large trench coat. I wonder where he's going. Let's follow him. …Oh wow! I would have never guessed… It looks like Suguru is heading into a gay men strip club. He seems pretty popular with the men.

Oh… Umm… I'm sorry, but I can't show you this scene. This show has a strict rule about nudity and violence. All I can say is… Well… It's disturbing.

Ok. It finally looks like he's going home. Now he's changing his clothes and sneaking out again. This time he's going to Noriko Ukai's house. Could it be that he's having a secret affair with Noriko? Let's go find out!

Hmm… This is odd. It seems that he is using a ladder to climb into little Saki Ukai's room. (Saki is only featured in the manga. She's Noriko's daughter.) I wonder what he's going to do in Saki's room.

Now I can get a closer look; I have climbed his ladder and I'm looking in through the window.

KAMI! You viewers would LOVE to see what I'm seeing. Fujisaki and Saki are… Are… Making out! They must be the ones that are having the secret affair, not Noriko. I'm so going to leak this to the media!

Oooh, now they're doing naughty things. But wait a minute… Isn't Saki, like, 10 or 12? This is considered rape! Suguru is 16! Wow. This is totally wrong. I hope Noriko doesn't find out about this, she'd totally KILL Fujisaki if she knew.

"Hey! What's that noise out there"

Uh oh. I think he spotted me…

"I know you… You're Kei-chan, the host of that awesome show, 'The Not-So-Secret Life of Gay People'! I loved that episode when you… **Wait a second… YOU'RE KEI-CHAN! You better not be doing what I think you're doing!**"

Ok. This ends our episode on Suguru Fujisaki. Tune in next week to watch Tohma Seguchi! Remember, it's only legal if you don't get caught… Or killed by the person you're filming…

"I'm going to get you, Kei-chan! GIVE ME THAT TAPE!"

See you next time!

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Now its time for a review of reviews! 

**Surimi:** XD You'll see what Tohma's hiding in the next chapter. Wait… If you're French… Then how can you read English? **Cymyers:** Yay! You still like it! I hope you liked this chapter! **SummonerGirl001:** Was that too harsh? I don't think it was… **Solo Shadow: **Wow, Tai… I can just picture you doing that. XD Did you get more books for me yet? **Amyrose300:** I don't think he's hot… But he IS cute without his glasses.

Thanks for all the reviews!

-shuxyuki


	4. Tohma Seguchi

Author: shuxyuki

Notes: I think this chapter isn't written that well. Its kind of written in "n00b RP" form. I'm sorry… T-T

**Episode Four – Tohma Seguchi**

Hello and welcome to the fourth exciting episode of, "The Not-So-Secret Life of Gay People"! (Without Maki Murakami, this show wouldn't exist. We all thank you, Maki.) I'm you're host, Kei-chan, and I have a feeling that Suguru and Shuichi have teamed up and they're stalking me. … Oh, it seems that they are. They're in that tree behind me. Let's invite them to join us while we spy on Tohma Seguchi!

-To Sururu and Shuichi- Hey! Do you guys want to spy on Tohma with me? I promise I'll never film you again!

"Sure!"

Ok, now that Suguru and Shuichi have joined me, there will be three hosts for this episode. Yay! The more the merrier!

Suguru: Hey… What's that crappy rap music? Is Tohma listening to that?

Shuichi: I think so. It's coming from his apartment.

Kei: It looks like this would be a great time to see what he's doing. Let's go take a look.

Wow! I can't believe my eyes! Tohma is wearing a pink tutu and bows in his hair! You've seen it here first! Apparently, Tohma Seguchi is wearing ballet clothes and dancing around his apartment to rap music!

"Ok, Kumagorou! Now your turn!"

Suguru: What the hell? Why did he just throw Kumagorou in the middle of the room? My God, if Ryuichi saw that Kumagorou was in ballet clothes too, he'd **KILL** Tohma.

Shuichi: Whoot! Go Kumagorou! Shake that thang!

Kei: Ok… I'm glad to see one of us is having fun.

-Two hours later-

Kei: It seems he's finally going to bed. Let's see what kind of things he keeps in his rom.

Suguru: What's that?

Kei: Oh that, it looks like Tohma's diary. Let's read it.

_June 9, 2005_

_I'm really starting to regret marring Mika. I wish Eiri had said 'yes' when I proposed to him three years ago. It's not fair. Why'd he have to meet Shindou-kun. That's the only reason he rejected me. I think he would have been very happy with me. Well, at least I got the next best thing: his sister. Shindou-kun doesn't know anything about Eiri. Only I know that he still sleeps with his Barney plushie…_

Kei: That was odd… I wonder what Mika would do if she read that.

Shuichi: H-he hates me? But why? I never did anything to him…

Suguru: Ok, well that wraps up our show. Next time we'll be invading the privacy of Tatsuha Uesugi.

All: Remember, its only legal if you don't get caught!

Kei: See you next time!

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I hope you liked the chapter! Chapter 5 won't be up for a long time, because I still have to write it... Now on for the review of reviews! 

**Amyrose300:** Yeah... I think he should be gay too! **Surimi:** Cool! I didn't think that many people that didn't live in america could speak english so well... I hope you liked this chapter! **Blackrose01515:** Hehe... Sorry Seguchi's wasn't that good... (I couldn't think of anything) **Cymyers:** Yay! I'm so glad you liked the 3rd chappie! I can't wait to write Eiri's chapter... Thats gonna be a good one. **Summonergirl001:** nn Thanks for letting me borrow your book! I'm almost done... And I'm happy you liked it! BTW, so many thanks for the idea for Eiri's chapter. Its WICKED funny!

Thank you to all my reviewers! Please review more! (The reviews keep me alive! If you don't review, I'll just wither away...)

Please review,  
-shuxyuki


	5. Tatsuha Uesugi

Hey! Sorry its been SOOOOO long since I've updated... Its just that I've had at ETERNAL writers block... On all of my stories. Heh. But now I'm sort of back! Whoot. Yeah... Enjoy! Also... My friend, Alison, helped me think of the idea for this chapter.

**Episode Five – Tatsuha Uesugi**

Hello, and welcome to the fifth episode of "The Not-So-Secret Life of Gay People!" Sadly, Suguru and Shuichi won't be accompanying me for this episode. …Ok, today we're going to take a look at the secret life of Tatsuha Uesegi, Eiri Yuki's younger brother! This should be really fun. Let's go see what he's doing now.

It appears he's doing laundry in his kitchen… How odd, who does laundry in their kitchen? What the hell! He's wasting his clothes in his dishwasher. –I always knew something was wrong with that guy…

Now his phone is ringing. Let's get a closer look at his caller ID. Oh, it's Eiri. …Damn! I can only hear one side of the conversation.

"_Hey, bro! --- Are you busy tonight? 'Cause I'm in the mood to have some fun. --- Ok! Great! I'll be over at 8… Wait… What if Shuichi comes home and finds us? --- Alright, then. Bye."_

Wow, from what I heard, it sounds like they're gonna have gay sex at Eiri's house tonight! That sounds ABSOLUTELY HOT! If only I could broadcast their little sex affair to you viewers at home… Too bad the network doesn't allow it… -I'll have to bring it up at the next meeting…- But anyways, I think I'll take a break till 8 o'clock. That seems to be when the fun starts!

-8 o'clock-

Ah! Tatsuha has just arrived! This must be when the fun begins! Too bad that I can't see what they're doing… I can only hear them…

Eiri: Ok, let's get down to business.

Tatsuha: Aw, come on Eiri, let's fool around a little bit first. You know… Want some beer?

E: Alright, fine. You brought the "goods" right?

T: Yeah! We should totally play in the bathtub, too!

E: But we'd get wet… Let's just play in the bed.

Oh boy! This is getting good! Too bad I can't see what their doing… -Oh… It seems Shuichi's coming home. This looks fun.

Shuichi: Tatsuha! Eiri! What the hell are you doing in bed! …I knew you were hiding this from me!

E: Shit… He found us…

T: Oh well… Shuichi, you wanna come too?

S: Really? You'll let me play? HELL YEAH!

Oh my god! Three-way gay sex! I can't take this anymore! I have to see this! looks through bedroom window …

S: BINGO!

E: What! How do you ALWAYS manage to win at Bingo…?

T: This is why we always hide it from you!

DAMNIT! …Oh well… It wasn't three-way gay sex. They were playing bingo… Well, I guess this is all for today, I'm gonna go play Bingo with Tatsuha, Eiri, and Shuichi! Just remember, it's only legal if you don't get caught!

See you next time!

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PLEASE REVIEW! Heh, onegai? 

Thanks for reading,

shuxyuki


	6. Ryuichi Sakuma

**Note**: Just so you all know… The thing with the hole… I DIDN'T MAKE IT UP! Someone I know did it once and told me about it… So I just had to put it in this story.**

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**

**Episode Six – Ryuichi Sakuma**

Hello, and welcome to the sixth episode of "The Not-So-Secret Life of Gay People"! Before I start the show, I'd like to answer one question that I've been asked oh-so-many times. "When will you be spying on Eiri?" The answer to that question is… LAST! (AN- I have the funniest idea for his chapter.) Sorry! Anyhoo… I'm your host, the incredible Kei-chan -whoosh-, and this week our victim is the childish and adorable, RYUICHI SAKUMA! Now… You all may know Ryu-chan as loud, outgoing, childish, and innocent. But behind closed doors, he could be an evil mastermind plotting to take over the planet! Or a crazed serial killer. Who knows? Well, you're all about to find out during the sixth exciting episode of "The Not-So-Secret Life of Gay People"!

Woah! Why's all of this smoke coming from Ryuichi's apartment? I hope he didn't light the kitchen on fire… --- Ok, now I'm inside his apartment. And… WOW! You viewers aren't going to be too happy seeing this one! It turns out that the Ryuichi Sakuma we all know and love is actually… A… A pot-head, druggie! He's smoking TONS of pot! …I guess that explains a lot… Well, we'll just have to come back tonight when he's not stoned.

- 8:00 pm -

Oh! It looks like Ryu keeps a journal! Aww… How cute. I wonder what he writes in it. Let's go see!

_May 16, 2006_

_Damnit! Today's plot to kill Shuichi didn't work. WHY WON'T HE DIE! The sooner I get rid of him, the sooner Nittle Grasper can be Japan's #1 band again. It's not fair… I guess I'm going to have to take out all of my anger on Kumagorou again…_

Hmm… I wonder what he means by _"take out all of my anger on Kumagorou…"_ The only thing that I can think of is the sexual term. Maybe we'll find out if we watch. – Oh, what's this? There seems to be a hole in the bottom of Kumagorou… And there's some white stuff dripping out of it… I really hope that's spit… 'Cause if its not… Then I'll be REALLY grossed out. EWW! – I'm only 99.9 percentsure that it's not spit…

Ok… God… For ONCE, can't we have someone that's NORMAL! …Or at least not gross/disgusting? Well… Let's hope next week's victim, Hiroshi Nakano, isn't as gross as Ryuichi.

That's all for today's show. Just remember, it's only legal if you don't get caught!

See you next time!


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